I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I can't turn off my feet"
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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