I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
