The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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