cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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