Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Is Oprah even human
i think im in europe. pls send help
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
