Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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