Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
