dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Mom said you looked used
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
