you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize