Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
