There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
