I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
