stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
