we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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