My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Randomize
