Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
