That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
