so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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