he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
