? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
