it was like having sex with a tree stump
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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