My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
