He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
