similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
