That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
