she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
