before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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