I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
