I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
