i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
This baby is an asshole
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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