if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
porn star boner night. come get it.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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