I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
