I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
