Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
