Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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