The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
