Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
