Fine. I'll sleep in my office
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
