So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
