I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
