I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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