my room smells like sperm. sweet.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
The beer is more important than you right now.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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