Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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