it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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