I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
This toilet bowl is my home.
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