the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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