The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
