i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
