Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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