wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
