I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
